Today is Stan Lee’s birthday. For the two of you who don’t know who Stan Lee is (where have you been?!), this is the guy who co-created basically every major Marvel Comics character ever. Except Captain America. That was all Joe Simon and Jack Kirby. But other than him, yeah, just about every one. Oh, and Wolverine. That was Len Wein. Punisher was Gerry Conway and John Romita, Sr., but I don’t like him, so he doesn’t count.

But, The Amazing Spider-Man? The Uncanny X-Men? The Incredible Hulk? Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme? The Invincible Iron Man? The Fantastic Four? Daredevil, The Man Without Fear? All co-created by him. Stripperella is also Stan, but we don’t like to mention that ’round here.

Anyway, happy birthday to the man who ushered us into the modern age of comics, and wishes for many more. But no more crap like Stripperella, okay? Thanks.

…because failing once just isn’t enough.

The official teaser for FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER has hit the ‘net, and you can check it out on Apple’s site for the movie. And, might I add, it features our first look at the movie Surfer, and he looks super-swank.

Go!  It’s awesome!  I swear!

James Brown died yesterday at the age of 73. That sucks.

Since I have nothing else to say that hasn’t already been said a thousand times, here’s a clip from The Blues Brothers that features Mr. Brown.

Merry Christmas.  Or Happy Secular Holiday, if you don’t do the Christmas thing.

What sort of evil, cold-hearted grandson and husband would let a poor, old woman walk out in the snow after drinking way too much eggnog?  Did they hope she’d get hit by a car, and were even more pleased that she was run over by a reindeer?  Was there insurance money to be had, or was her husband tired of all her nagging?  “Jim, clean the gutters!”  “Jim, I need to go to the doctor!”  “Jim, can you run back to the house to get my medication?  I’m too drunk to drive, and it’s too cold to walk?”  Was that the final straw?  And why would the two masterminds of this reindeer scheme still get presents from Santa, considering how darn naughty they were?

Will the truth ever be revealed?  America wants to know.

Did you ever stop to think that somewhere, somehow, someone is being beaten up over the simple fact that they just didn’t give up their frozen waffle fast enough?  People claim that violence in cartoons and video games is a problem, without looking at the marketing for breakfast food… if “L’eggo my Eggo!” isn’t a call to arms, I dunno what is.

Do Oscar Mayer Weiners sing “I wish I were actually a human/ That is what I’d really like to be/ ‘Cause if I were actually a human/ Nobody would try to grill me!” And do the other foods get mad that no one ever sings about wanting to be them? Do the other foods wish they actually were Oscar Mayer Weiners, because they feel like they’re unloved?

Kinda makes you sad, if you think about it too much. Which, clearly, I have.

The battle over Net Neutrality is getting just a bit hotter… check out this commercial, aired on TBS, which was paid for by the National Cablevision & Telecommunications Association, which claims that Net Neutrality is bad for America. Check it out:

Head on over to SaveTheInternet.org to find out more about Net Neutrality, and just how friggen’ wrong this commercial is.

Have you ever wondered why Smurfette is the only female Smurf? Could it possibly be that she’s not really a girl at all, but just some cross-dressing, Crying Game wannabe, who is secretly starving for Papa Smurf’s love and attention?

Or was it really Brainy Smurf all along?